2016 seemed to be an uphill battle for many of us, but the year is over. We’ve reached the summit and can now look back at the journey taken, lessons learned, strength earned. We can also now look forward. Using that strength and vision we now set our sights on 2017.
January 1st is not a miracle date. All the issues of 2016 will not automatically cease to be, but we can make the choice to bring issues to a close, end them and use the energy to move forward. Take a deep breath and take aim into our futures. Fuel that arrow with the energy of all that did not serve you in 2016. As you pull back the string feel the tension build, it contains all the disappointments, bad habits you have formed, ……. feel the weight of it, the tension on the string, feel that energy build, hold that energy and then look forward, focus on the future, a location ahead of you and feel the power through the veil of time the potential waiting… release the arrow and visualize its transformation. Allow the energy to transform into hope, determination, passion, belief in yourself and others… your new goals. Your future.
MY JOURNEY TO DATE:
I’ve rarely shared much about my personal life and never have shared anything about my professional one. I do so now to give hope that after years of struggle, we can’t give up. I haven’t come out of the struggle yet, but I will never give up, and hope my story will encourage you to not give up as well…. We have support in each other. We are the spirit tribe.
In October of 2013, while working as a bookkeeper for a local law firm, I registered a small business, Mourning Tea Events. It was created as a weekend hobby, and like all hobbies I knew it would cost money, not make money, but it was a way of working on my soul contract. It was intended to create a safe haven for pagans to connect, learn and heal.
Since June of 2014 a private family matter caused me to leave my job and move home to be with my mom. What was designed as a weekend hobby now had to transform into a viable business for the mundanes. Or at least help make ends meet.
At the end of 2015 after things with mom stabilized I continued the small business, operating on fumes, but the business operations allows me to keep my skill levels active. I couldn’t afford to be absent from the work force, or allow my skill sets to atrophy, while I continued my job search, so I shut down the Mourning Tea Website, kept certain aspects of the business going, book clubs and the such, and began my search for a permanent position.
In 2016 the business had to be scaled back further so I could have time for job interviews and it allowed me to take on a few contract positions to help make ends meet and keep my specialized skills in legal accounting strong. I did have a few job offers result from these contract positions, but I turned them down…. Why? Well, first the job can’t be the only thing you live to do, and I had to ensure I would have time for a life… be able to ensure that Mourning Tea events could be revived towards its original concept for the pagan community. And then there are those positions which you just KNOW when the corporate culture won’t be remotely suitable for you. So, my search continues, still. I kept my spirits alive through my rituals, meditation and journeying and my mom’s gracious belief in my education and skill sets. I’ve had to do a lot of journeying… it’s truly an ongoing continuous process to get past the draw backs, the stumbles and road blocks.
But I had everything banking on a fresh start in 2017. I don’t follow astrology in the Western sense of the word (it’s a shamanic connection for me), but I do connect with numerology (though I don’t let it govern me, rather just inform me). 2017 had so much potential in my eyes… and despite the start to the year, I still believe it will. I even had a new potential contract to permanent position lined up.
THE LESSONS STILL TO LEARN, THE SHADOWS STILL TO FACE:
I continue my job search for the right position and right fit. I’m living on fumes at this point, on family loans. Not a proud moment for someone as independent and A-type as I am, but I think learning to be humble, to be vulnerable, was/is a part of my shadow journey that I never truly explored. It has also forced me to have to not just ask for help, but learn to accept it. Which also ties into my Year Ahead journey spread, now that I think about it! These are aspects of being human, in balance, that as a warrior-healer I have to learn from. Still, I won’t give up. I will find the right job, the right fit.
Best laid plans… In the first week of 2017 we experienced two funerals, one for a child which is never easy to handle, and in addition to these devastating losses, there was the hospitalization of my estranged ‘father’ for his heart condition. The next week my potential future boss had surgery, and the week after that, I came down with Influenza and have been sick for over 1 week. Needless to say, the new job never got off the drawing board. So far, it was not the year filled with the hope and promise I had visualized. That I had intended to manifest…
Do I give up? Not a chance.
I take this energy and spiral it around me, the hurt, the loss, the disappointment, the illness… I let it spin and funnel around me building up speed so that all the negative vibrations are shaken off and only pure energy remains from the events… I reach up my hand at the peak of the funnel and draw it into my palm… a connection to source… I pull my hand back… I focus on 2017 and take aim…. I WILL use all the stops to not stall out but to rev-my energy engine (so to speak!) for an amazing new start. And I will continue to fuel this with the ongoing energetic success I have felt from my the Planetary Alignment Puja and Kalash Pujas. My friend once asked me how I kept getting so many job offers (7 within the year), it’s all the intention placed in the Kalash, balanced by the Spiritual Ancestors of our Celestial bodies that have opened up the doorways. I just have to fine tune intentions and energies to find the right one to step through.
I will never stop working towards my spiritual contract. I will improve my health so I can heal others, and I will always believe in the grace of Source, the balance that is strived for in the Universe and the potential this allows us, through success and failures, to learn, grown and become our truest selves.
Blessed be and Namaste.
Kayla Alyssa, your Shakti Shaman in service.